Saying Goodbye to Nutmeg

We said farewell to our cairn terrier, Nutmeg, on July 8, 2022, and although she was 13 years old, we were completely taken by surprise when she was diagnosed with bone cancer a few weeks ago and given one to three months to live.

Each time we adopt a pet, our rational minds know we are setting ourselves up for inevitable heartache, but in our hearts, we hope they live forever. At least that’s been my experience. 

It was once Nutmeg and Nora, two sisters we adopted when they were two-and-a-half in September of 2011. Their owner, a kind woman who spoiled them rotten, collapsed in her garage and died. She wasn’t found for four hours, during which time, the dogs laid by her side in the steaming summer heat. The woman’s husband sent Nutmeg and Nora to a kennel as soon as the ambulance pulled away. When he tried to have the dogs euthanized, an ethical veterinarian refused to euthanize healthy young dogs. Thankfully, an employee of the family business suggested a rescue organization. 

In the meantime, my husband, Jim, and I were ready to adopt after losing two dogs to cancer. The thought came to me that I’d like a dog like Toto, from the Wizard of Oz. Then, I decided I’d like sisters. When we came back from vacation, I looked at Petfinder.com and there were Nutmeg and Nora, two cairn terrier sisters.

Bringing home two dogs, both spoiled and traumatized, began a hazard-filled journey—violent fighting between them, numerous bites on my hands, countless cleaning episodes from dogs who forgot their housetraining, and so much more. Often, I wondered if we were qualified to deal with their issues, and several times, I considered sending them away. But each time I thought, “If we give up on them, what will be their fate?” 

Blogging about the girls helped me express my feelings and frustrations. It also inspired some people who knew the dogs in their previous life to reach out and fill in their story for me.

It was never easy with Nutmeg and Nora, but it didn’t take us long to love them. Interestingly, at first, it was Nutmeg I considered sending back because of the fighting, but eventually, I learned that it was Nora who had the most issues. Not her fault, mind you.

In 2015, Nora became sick with Cushing’s Disease and became blind. She got around pretty well with her disability, but it was sad to see her bump into things, and the medication was expensive. We cared for her disease and blindness for two years before she passed away in November of 2017. When we came home from the veterinarian without her, Nutmeg, who had a complicated relationship with her sister looked at us as if she blamed us.

Now, Nutmeg was the “only child,” and she was loved dearly, but never spoiled. We took her on walks during which she sniffed more than she walked. She was a good guard dog and watched out for us at any unusual sound or knock at the door. You couldn’t say, “Hello,” without hearing from her. She still got in some trouble, like the time she ate the couch. She also became the subject of silly talking-pet videos that I’d post on social media for fun (see below). 

Nutmeg was a very healthy dog until she wasn’t. Her senior bloodwork always came back perfect. She had an eye issue, but the ophthalmologist in Pittsburgh said her disease would outlive her. That might have been the case, if she hadn’t developed another eye disease, glaucoma, and had to endure a series of expensive eye drops every day, once totaling 13 applications. She endured those painful drops like a champ. 

About six weeks ago, I noticed through the leash that Nutmeg’s gait was off. She developed a limp, and then she stopped putting weight on her left hind leg. I took her to Millcreek Animal Hospital the next morning and Dr. Jenny suspected a torn ACL, which meant surgery. She wanted to confirm the diagnosis with an X-ray and when she came back in the room, I could see it on her face.

Bone cancer. The tumor was huge on Nutmeg’s leg bone. Although her chest didn’t show any disease, the Dr. Jenny said it was surely there and gave Nutmeg a prognosis of one to three months. Bone cancer is extremely painful, and Nutmeg was given two different prescriptions, but they didn’t totally make her comfortable. 

With Dr. Jenny’s guidance, we made the kind decision, and on Friday, July 8, 2022, Nutmeg was released from this world of pain. She was surrounded by four comforting humans when she fell asleep, Dr. Jenny, the tech, my husband Jim, and me, all whispering words of love.

Of course, I knew our dog would likely pass away before me, but Nutmeg had been so healthy, and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye only a couple of weeks after her diagnosis. When look at it objectively, it seems like we should be able to let go easily to an animal whose time on this earth is far shorter than most humans’ lifespans. But when looked at from the heart, to lose an animal with whom you have a deep connection, and who is part of the family, letting go is always too soon.

RIP Nutmeg. 12/31/2008 – 7/8/2022

I should also mention that my daughter’s cat, Blanco, who lived with us for the past two years, died two days before Nutmeg. He was the best cat ever. We are left with my late father’s cat, Molly, who hasn’t come up from the basement for three years. I’ll be working on her. . .