How to Host a Socially Distanced & Virtual Bridal Shower

The COVID-19 pandemic has raised the level of human creativity. Autopilot no longer works and we continually have to find new ways to do old things. Take bridal showers, for example. Here you’ll learn how to plan and execute a memorable event during a pandemic. This is a hybrid model, both socially distanced for the guests who attend in person and inclusive for virtual attendees. 

Months before the pandemic, when my daughter Krista, as matron of honor, started planning my other daughter Kasey’s bridal shower, she knew just what to do, having attended many such events herself. Early on, she enlisted the help of the bridal party and immediate family (dubbed the VIPs), getting everyone excited and enthused about planning the special day. The venue was a local, trendy restaurant, and the headcount neared the capacity of the private dining room. 

By the time COVID-19 came uninvited into our lives, the shower planning was complete, but with the pandemic’s arrival, the gloves came off and the thinking caps went on. 

The invitations had been sent, but the venue, and nearly everything else in Pennsylvania, was shut down. When Krista connected with the restaurant’s event planner, she was able to reschedule for a month later, hoping things would be back to normal by then. Luckily, Krista had requested email addresses and cellphone numbers with the RSVPs, which facilitated informing the guests of the date change.

When it was clear that the pandemic had dug in with its crown-like spikes, it became quite clear that a traditional bridal shower was just not practical in terms of the health of all involved. 

After the lockdown was lifted, the original venue was not possible, because restaurants could only offer take-out, and later, only outdoor dining. As Pennsylvania opened up more, they still could only accept 50% occupancy indoors (later 25%). Our attendee list would nearly fill the restaurant’s private room. But that was not all, the health and safety of the guests were paramount.

Should the shower be cancelled all together? Should it be virtual? It was decided to try to make a hybrid model work with a few people attending outside at my home and the rest virtually through Zoom.

But who should attend in-person? The only way to be impartial was to limit those guests to immediate family only. This way, there’d be no question of playing favorites. It eliminated conundrums such as, if the bridesmaids are invited, what about the godmother? Limiting the in-person guests to immediate family also cut the physical version of the shower to ten guests. The rest of the guests would be invited to attend virtually.

Planning this type of event didn’t just suggest thinking outside the box, it made it absolutely necessary to do so. Because the shower was held at my home, this meant that I became more involved in the planning and execution of Kasey’s shower. The bridal party and immediate family developed games and provided prizes (generous gift cards). Games were a bridal word scramble and “Who Knows the Bride & Groom Best?” This experience gave Krista and I the opportunity to work on a fun project together, and between the two of us, Kasey’s input, and the talent of the VIPs, we couldn’t have asked for a better outcome. 

Krista says, 

I have always loved planning parties and Kasey’s bridal shower was no exception!  COVID-19 introduced some challenges, but after reading all I could about the CDC guidelines and the very few blog posts I could find in early 2020 about virtual showers, we were able to develop a solid plan that we all felt safe and comfortable with.  The biggest struggle was trying to plan an event months in advance when the world was so unpredictable and guidelines & restrictions changed frequently.  My advice for people trying to plan an event in the midst of a global pandemic is to commit early to a plan, and make it a very cautious plan.  This will give you the most time possible to devote to making the best virtual event you can!”  

Krista

Kasey says,

Having to amend my original bridal shower and wedding plans was something I never in my wildest dreams expected I would have to do as a result of a global pandemic. That being said, my hybrid bridal shower with both an in-person and virtual component far exceeded my expectations. My sister and mother thought of every detail possible and made sure my day was memorable and perfect. Of course I missed the hugs and seeing family and friends in person, but the Zoom portion and drive-by afterward was a fantastic alternative. Also, I have to say, having a spreadsheet indicating who joined via Zoom/in-person, whether they received their favor during the drive by, and what gift I received from each, helped immensely when putting together my thank-you cards. Without it, I could not have possibly remembered who I needed to mail favors to and who to thank for also driving by or joining the Zoom portion. It really helped to make my thank you notes much more personal. Overall, I have to say, if you’re looking for a way to still hold your shower/party/gathering and also maintain the safety of your family and friends during the pandemic, this hybrid model really was a home run. I am so grateful for everyone who contributed to make my day special, and I’m so thankful we were able to still have my shower despite the pandemic restrictions.

Kasey

We were so happy to honor Kasey and her fiancé, John, who have been incredibly gracious and grateful while maintaining a positive attitude during a complete upheaval of all of their meticulous plans for a dream wedding. They decided to honor their original wedding date with a quiet ceremony and, fingers-crossed, they will enjoy a larger celebration when it’s safe to do so. 

We are all so very sensitive to the fact that dashed bridal dreams are nothing in comparison to the heartbreak and devastation that many families have faced through this pandemic. We continue to be grateful for our family and friends who have supported and encouraged us through this experiment on a new way to shower a very special bride. 

Because we successfully pulled off a shower for Kasey that made her feel special and loved, even though she wasn’t physically surrounded by friends and family in a trendy restaurant, we thought it would be a great idea to share what we learned in the process and develop a guide for others to use for their own events. 

This guide can be used for any type of hybrid event, bridal showers, baby showers, birthday parties, anniversary parties, etc. So, here it is in outline form so you can read it at a glance. Other helpful information appears after the outline. This model assumes an original in-person shower that had to change to virtual, but these days, you might just jump to virtual from the start. Please let us know in the comments if you have any questions. We’ll be happy to respond.

Planning Guide

• Invitations
  • Send first invitations through postal service with an insert regarding virtual contingency because of virus. 
  • Request email addresses and cellphone numbers with RSVPs.
  • Gifts
    • Although generally considered impolite to mention gifts, anything goes in pandemic planning. Emily Post would probably understand?
    • Invite guests to send, drop off, or have their gifts shipped directly to host’s home. 
    • See next section for treatment of gifts.

• Contingency Planning
  • Location – example: a private residence outdoors or in garage in case of rain.
  • Decorations – Order online and ship to shower location.
  • Favors – Order online in a mailable format for virtual attendees.
  • Food & Beverage – Develop a simple menu that the host (and helper) can plate for each guest. Coffee, bottled water, and individually bottled juice, etc.
  • Games – Select games in which both in-person and virtual guests can participate. 
  • Gifts
    • Guests can have the gifts shipped directly to host’s home or locals can drop them off.
    • Those shipped directly to the host’s home arriving in cardboard boxes can be wrapped in decorative paper, complete with ribbons. 
  • As gifts arrive, record description of the gift and name of person who sent it. Helpful for the bride as she writes out her thank-you notes.
  • Spreadsheet for keeping track of things at the shower.
    • Rows contain the name of each person invited
    • Columns include the following: Attended in Person, Attended Virtually, Drove By, Received Favor, and Gift Given.
    • As the presents were opened, a description of each is entered on the spreadsheet. During the drive by, the spreadsheet is updated. It’s possible that more people will drive by than indicated in their RSVP.

Communication (examples at the end of post)

• Email to all invitees notifying them of the postponement. 

• Email to all invitees notifying all of the new plan. Example below.
  • Mostly virtual
  • Immediate family members in-person
  • Time/Date
  • Drive by for well wishes, cake, and favor
  • RSVP again
  • Zoom details: link, meeting ID, and password
  • Address for drive by

• Message for in-person attendees. Example below.
  • Reminder of date and time.
  • Details: Event will be outdoors. Dress for weather, including sunscreen and hat, if desired.
  • Tables will be spaced apart with households seated together.
  • Masks are welcome (or required).
  • Menus will be provided. 
  • Host (and helper) will plate food and deliver food to tables—wearing masks.
  • If not feeling well, please join by Zoom.

• Final email for all. Example below.
  • Reminder of those attending in person, everyone else virtual
  • Game overview, prizes (gift cards), and attachments with games. 
  • Gift opening. See honoree’s reaction to your gift!
  • Drive-by instructions. Time, address, favors, treats.
  • Zoom meeting details and link. 
  • RSVP, so there will be enough favors and treats for those who drive by. 

Event Details

• Virtual Shower Details
  • Wi-Fi
    • Check the function and speed of the modem and router.
    • Wi-Fi Extender: With an outdoor event, it’s possible that the router signal would need to be enhanced with an extender.
  • Broadcast
    • Two laptops and a television, or large monitor, connected by HDMI cable.
    • One laptop for close view and one for wide view. TV/monitor so that physical guests can see the virtual guests.

• Physical Shower Details
  • Tables and technology spaced apart outside in shade
  • Place settings
    • Cutlery, napkins (disposable)
    • Menu
    • Printed games, pens
    • Favors, with the addition of mini-hand sanitizers
  • Food & Beverage
    • Print menus so guests can indicate their food and beverage choices.
    • Guests circle the items they wish and indicate quantity.
    • Host (and helper) plate and serve on disposable plates.
  • Restroom
    • A sign requests that the toilet lid be closed before flushing.
    • Antibiotic soap
    • Paper towels folded and placed on the sink counter instead of hand towels.
    • Provide a can of aerosol disinfectant and disinfectant wipes.
  • Drive by after the shower
    • Duration – For approximately one hour after the shower ends.
    • Physical guests can move their chairs to the front yard to watch and greet.
    • List of those who RSVP’d for drive by is updated as each arrives.
    • Each person who drives by is given a favor, a treat, and their prize if they won.
    • The bride greets each car as arrives, expresses thanks from a safe distance, and receives many warm wishes from friends and family.

HELPFUL EMAIL SCRIPTS & IMAGES OF SET-UP

Email Informing Guests of New Plan

Message for In-Person Attendees

For more helpful ideas, check out this article on How to Host a Backyard Bridal Shower, by Rocio Espinoza at Porch.com.